Choices

(20120215)

Recently I've come to find a bit more time on my hands than I usually have available to me which has given me some much needed time to evaluate where I've been in my life, where I am now, and where I am potentially going. These are not the things that I normally spend much time debating as I generally tend to view life with a "take it as it comes" sort of perspective however; I must admit that even I can recognize the fact that if I spent more time evaluating and planning, I might be in a much better position.

In terms of where I have been, I have had my shares of ups and downs through the early years of my life. In my younger days, I tended to make decisions "on the fly". Things that came my way generally came in batches and were most usually dispatched with little to no hard evaluation. The results of this style ultimately created the base of who I am even to this day. It is possible that maybe that's not the greatest thing but, overall I don't think it has all turned out so bad. Did I make some bad choices, oh yeah, most certainly. Did they seem like bad choices at the time I was making them, I'd like to think that I remember that answer as no. Does this need to decide on the fly influence the way I approach some aspects of my life today, most certainly!

I've never really tended to be the kind of person who spends time wringing my hands over the choices I've made in the past as generally, I feel that there isn't much that can be done in retrospect to adjust those choices. I just don't think that even if I had to the chance to go back and choose all over again, that I would have made any different choice based on the circumstances and information that was available to me at that time. We all do the best we can with the information and resources that we have available to us at the time and I'm no different in that respect.

As time has slowly passed and I have come into my adult years, my decison making process has evolved a bit more towards more cautious evaluation. In my mind, this is only natural. I have much more to lose now should I make the wrong decision(s). The circumstances have changed considerably. I now have a wife and a daughter that rely on me to be a provider, a husband, and a father. I have a mortgage company that relies on me to send them their money each month. Utility providers start to get a little surly if they haven't heard from me or seen my check in the mail around the 3rd or 4th of every month. My homeowners association gets crazy shortly after they feel like my lawn has grown a quarter inch past the 2 inches of growth that they find uniformly acceptable! The point here is that with all of these emerging situations and responsibilities, the need to evaluate decisions and choices has greatly increased.

Going forward, there are certainly many more choices and decision points ahead which will require an even greater level of debate and consideration. I am at a point right now where I can certainly anticipate some major changes to my career path forthcoming as well as, to my daughter's education path, and my overall economic posture in the troubling economy which we are now enduring. Looking at all of this from a very high level, I am able to anticipate that some of these changes may not be for the best part in the immediate future but may wind up being judged as the best path for the long term. This need to evaluate decisions with longer term consequences in sight is where I need practice. As I mentioned earlier, I have always been the take it as it comes sort when it comes to decisions but now, all of that is considerably different and I must evolve to a more refined process that considers not only the "What will this get me now?" portion but the, "If I make this choice now, how will it affect me in the longer run?" portion.

If only there were some magic crystal ball to gaze into to assure me that I was making the right decisions now for not only mine but, my faily's future. I suppose if there were such a thing though, life wouldn't be the wonderful mystery that it is. That I will need to practice making these decisions and that I will most certainly not always make the right choice is a given. What I hope is that my "gut" and my past practice of usually trusting it, will carry us forward into new and better experiences.

Of course, it couldn't hurt to throw in a prayer or two here and there.

All things through faith!